The end of the beginning.

Well, its been almost a year since I posted here last. Quite a bit has happened since then, the most momentus of which is my graduation from culinary school. I now work at a fine dining restaurant as a pastry prep cook. All of my peers are envious and I am constantly told how wonderful an opportunity I have been given. I would tend to agree, apart from the fact that I don't find myself very happy. Sure I am learning a lot, but that does not seem to offset the pressures of the job. I find I am not suited for the restaurant industry, especially the hotel restaurant industry. Unlike the line cooks and my pastry chef boss, I am not drawn to the "excitement" of to order food preparation, nor the necessity to multitask for 8 to 10 hours a day. Nor am I particularly enamored of the late hours and the working on nearly every holiday, for which I am constantly rewarded with fewer hours and the neverending threat of shortenned shifts due to "saving labor costs". I keep telling myself I need to stick this out for a year (which would leave me about 9 more months at least) in order to make it look good on my resume. A voice in the back of my head keeps warring with that common sense, however. This whole adventure has been about following a dream, not because it looks good on a resume, but because it feels right in my heart. Something about this job doesn't feel right in my heart. I am not drawn to the work. But I feel trapped. If I leave now, I may burn bridges, not to mention the poor economy and the fact that I am lucky to have a job at all. And I do actually like my boss. He is incredibly talented (although a bit OCD.... I wonder if the two don't probably go hand in hand). So I am faced with the prospect of finding a part time job in order to save this job and my name.... damn you life and your complexities.